TEP's Play Nice : Hurricane Mase Averted!

The world is a better place today! Cooler  heads were able to prevail in the TEP football league and bring us together in the aftermath of Hurricane Ike.  A brilliant compromise was orchestrated by commissioner Jamie Goodell which seems to have appeased everyone. It is all Rainbows and Unicorns until the next storm of controversy. 

ReDraft anyone?

Hey Guys. Thanks for all the sympathy emails disguised as trade offers to take advantage of a snake bit franchise. Ok, my team completely sucks. Brady out for year. VYoung goes AWOL. Torry Holt double covered because Drew Bennett out. Jax O-Line a mess with no room for MJD. Braylon drops everything in sight. Oakland pukes on itself during home opener. Does it feel any better writing a blog entry that only Rich Ross will read- not really...but my family is getting sick of seeing me mope around the house feeling sorry for myself. I guess I need to find a bookie and turn to gambling on games. Anyone have a guy? Fortunately I have a pennant race, hockey exhibtion games and the Westminster Dog Show to look forward to. Woe is me.
Uncle Milt

You Suck!

I don't think I have ever used the phrase "jumped the shark" (because it is ultra gay) to indicate that a tv show has seen its best days and is in decline. But I have no other way to describe that turd of show that HBO threw at us on Sunday night. I would have rather bid on some kickers for another half hour then watch that shit. "Drama" must go, he is so old and un-funny it is painful. But hey, at least we got to see Turtle with his shirt off after all of these years, Thanks HBO. And somehow, E's acting has actually gotten worse. Entourage, you suck!  

Chickee Chickee Yah, Draft Day!

The last time the draft was held in NJ at that skanky sports bar, B Zane/All In/McLovin left the Garden State with what proved to be the winning squad. Can history repeat itself? Only time will tell. See you at the Cloverfield........... 

Six Guys That Have Never Been In My Kitchen.....

Try to guess the ages of these six Running Backs. LT, Jamaal Lewis, Rudi Johnson, Brian Westbrook, Larry Johnson and Deuce McCallister. Don't google it joker, there are no points at stake here. In fact I will end the suspense right here. This is a fargin' trick question. They are all 29 or will be 29 this season. I just thought it was interesting and I can virtually guarantee that no one thought they were all the same age. Deuce, Rudi and Jamaal seem ancient and decaying next to the others. Just saying......

Draft '09: the War at the Shore

You may have noticed that the Blog has been a little quiet lately as I have been enjoying the late summer weather, preparing for the draft and working my way around the corporate firewall, which does not exactly love the TEP football blog. In any event, the draft is just 3 days away and the excitement is palpable. This has been one of the most contentious offseason's ever, frought with horrific trading, verbal smackdowns and even a 15 yd penalty for spousal interference. Somehow the stakes seem a little higher this year as many of us have not drank from the championship cup for far too long (or not at all)! In many cases Clinton was still our President, Y2K fears kept us up at night and the Dolphins were a good team the last time you won. Eventhough Lou has cleared a space on his credenza for the championship trophy, everyone has a nice squad going in. We all know that it takes more then a few stud keepers to win this league. The winner will combine solid drafting, lopsided trades with Friedman and a lot of luck to capture the crown. I wish you all luck (Not ReallY!). See you on saturday....

The Nigerian Nightmare

Techmo Bowl rules!!

The League Championship Trophy

Here it is... what we're all fighting for... no, not a stack of solid gold bucks. Its the League Championship Trophy and its polished and the inscriptions are up-to-date!

You'll all get to see it again in person at the auction but I thought you'd like a sneak peak to whet your appetites...

First Trade Of The Year. (And only four shopping days left.)

Ponderosa West sends Marques Colston ($23) and Josh Brown ($4) to The Killer Ds for Ryan Grant ($20), Santonio Holmes ($5) and Jacksonville Defense ($14). 

Them words is liable. 

618,"何可欣","女","1994.1.1","湖北". Translation: China F'kin Cheats!

It's not quite as big a deal as when Friedman played five running backs in one week or when Mase was allegedly gaming the waiver wire, but cheating in the Olympics ranks right up there! "It appears the U.S. women's gymnastics team may actually get their coveted gold medals if an IOC investigation into the ages of the Chinese gymnastics team proves the little demons weren't all 16 years of age. " Follow this link to the blog which blew this story wide open!

Kevin Curtis Cut!

SportsTicker reports Philadelphia Eagles WR Kevin Curtis (sports hernia) underwent successful sports hernia surgery Thursday morning. I'm not sure where "Succesful Sports Hernia Surgery" ranks on the list of Best Oxymorons, but it has to be right up there with Jumbo Shrimp!

Mr. Freeze!

With just more then a week to go before the freeze roster deadline many fantasy questions remain unanswered. As key injuries pile up, contract disputes linger and new stars emerge, this promises to be one of the more interesting drafts in recent memory. Although it will be hard to top that one year when we finished the auction on the sidewalk under the streetlights getting attacked by moths because Lou did not secure the draft room for the entire evening. Good Times....

Yeah But I Made a Cool Blog, Part II

WTF! This guy is awesome. The Zinc Oxide on the nose a la Jeff Spiccoli is Classic. One question though: Why did he only go for the tie? I mean if you are going to climb to 172 feet in a speedo and launch yourself into thin air why not bump that ledge up a couple more inches and have the record to yourself? And what's up with the judge who gave him the 7.5. I'd like to kick that guy in the balls. You climb up that damn tower and dive off jack ass!
http://view.break.com/552105 - Watch more free videos

Dolphins Start 1 and Oh!

Miami Cheerleaders 2009 Calendar Show
by Machochip

Kyle Orton Bids On Himself. Do I Hear $2?

Word from the blogosphere is that new Bears starting QB Kyle Orton likes to have himself some fun with the women and the whiskey. Here is a nice montage of Orton highlights.

Quiet Trading...

The final weeks of summer are usually pretty quiet down on Wall Street. However, I don't remember a fantasy pre-season without even a single trade. As usual, I guess everyone is just so "loaded", as the deej would say!

Nice, Bush!

Talented Mr. Roto?

Matthew Berry makes his living giving fantasy advice for ESPN under the psuedonym the Talented Mr. Roto (TMR). Safe to say no one takes this shit more seriously then him. In a recent post he had this to say about fantasy football:

"Fantasy football is fun. It's a hobby. It's a hobby we all care very, very passionately about, but it's a hobby. For fun. When you find yourself firing off angry e-mails and freaking out about trades and a shady commish, it's time for a new league."

Best advice that guy ever gave. He wouldn't last two weeks in our league........

Green Vs. Gold - Pick Em

The Olympics came from behind last night with a late gold in the relay and a rare pink in water polo. Doesn't get any easier for the Olympics tonight as Phelps' quest for Gold takes on the eternal struggle for Green. Swimming has become a super gay aquatic Abercrombie ad, while Mary Louise Parker and Yoga Butt are "smokin'" hot. Verdict: Weeds by a bud.

UTEP Miners Not Amused!

I was contacted today by the UTEP Athletic Department who ordered me to cease and desist with my TEP Football Blog! As many of you know, Texans are not big fans of the tribe, and the similarities between TEP Football and UTEP Football did not sit well with the miners. Don't worry, I am wicked smahht and will vigorously defend this unconstitutional attack! The good news is, at least someone is reading the Blog.....

Olympics 1 - DieHard 1

Apparently while I was busy watching Nakitomi Plaza burn for the 1,000th time, a beautiful Olympic moment occured in the Women's Water Polo competition. Take that McClane!

The Boss at the Bowl

THE next Super Bowl is really going to rock. This year, Tom Petty rocked the halftime crowd at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Ariz. But Super Bowl XLIII on Feb. 1 in Tampa will feature Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, sources said. "He was just confirmed," a spy added. "Little Stevie (Van Zandt) has already rented out the Hard Rock Café for a party." A Boss rep didn't return calls or e-mails.

C. Chambers $1..........

Die Hard vs. Olympics! Verdict: Yippee-ki-yay Mother f*&$#!

Sure the Olympics only come around once every four years, but we are just two days in and I am bored already. Die Hard just started on TNT in HD and I am super stoked. I will take McClane, Argyle, Hans, Nakitomi Plaza and the guy from the Breakfast Club any day over women's gymnastics. What is more American then Die Hard. The Gold goes to Willis.....

It's The Chad!

The real winner of the Brett Favre saga appears to the Miami Dolphins. The long awaited replacement for Dan Marino has arrived 12 years later in the form of Marshall's own, C Pennington. Should be quite an opener when Favre and the Jets take on the Tuna safe Dolphins!

Christmas In August!

I know it is only pre-season, but actual professional football is back on TV! It's not "Weeds", but it does beat "the Sister of the Traveling Pants 2".....

If the ShortPath Video Got You Hot (Pathetic)....

All this talk about Candy Feldman and Diane the ShortPath Babe has got to stop. Instead, set your DVR's to catch all of the Olympic Synchronized Swimming goodness featuring the Feres twins. After all, smoking hot Brazillians in tight swimsuits is what the true Olympic Spirit is really about!

Is Short Path Guitar Hero Compliant?

Killer video! Where do I sign up? Did you ever get the A/C fixed in that conference room? It was like Dark Knight meets the world of office automation solutions. Nice work Booty, very proud!

Blog Fever- Catch It!

We now have active blog participation from 4 of the 12 owners. Not a bad start! For those of you who have yet to experience the unbridled good times offered by the blogosphere, don't be scared! You don't have to be a young Bill Gates to publish a hillarious post or comment for all of your friends to enjoy. You don't want to have to tell your kids that you don't know how to blog.......

Less Then A Penny A Catch!

While he is no $4 Loville, Wes Welker managed to haul in 112 catches for 1,175 yards and 8 TD's in 2007. With a $1 price tag, that ranks up there with one of the best dollar for dollar performances in recent memory. Nevertheless I still managed to finish dead last. A Dollar and a Dream.........

a four dollar loville

Who can forget "a four dollar Loville, a four dollar Loville" (well except for a $15 Terrell Davis)...question we recently debated is what player had the greatest roto season for our league? I'll start the list with Larry Centers who had 99 catches, 425 rushing yds and 9 td catches- i 'm sure there are better, but who was the best???

Yeah, But I Made A Cool Blog....

While I have been busy building a kick ass blog, performing equity analysis and researching fantasy football, Bash has obviously been wasting his time doing silly little spinal surgeries and whatnot. Slacker! (Click on Bash Pic for story)

Keepers?????

Not those keepers. Although the freeze deadline is still weeks away, there is no harm in a little early keeper chatter. Feel free to post any Keeper Komments here. $1 Michael Turner, Shwayze! Now that Ira R. (What up?) has joined the league there are two teams that have never won it all.........

I Don't Have Time, I Make Time (Not sure which is worse)

Yes, it is true I have thought about retiring in recent years, but who could blame me: Subpar draft venues, Friedman's rhymes, lopsided trading, my weak ass performance. Like another Mississipi born gunslinger, I keep comin' back for the love of the game and the hope that I may add one more crown to an already storied career (1 Championship, All Time High Point Total 2003, Look it up!). Perhaps this is that year?

Shit Negro!

I really would love to give Rich a little shit for... not so much having the time to create this... but just doing it period when for the last three years he has threatened to quit b/c the league has gotten so sorry. but how can you? it's pretty damn impressive. are those links live? is this just a slick way to end the 35-40 response chain emails. Either way, kudos!

"I Never Should Have Changed the Name"

It has been 5 long years since I last drank from the Chamionship Cup. I am not quite sure why, but I think it has something to do with turning my back on the Billy Zane name. Well, today I am here to announce that Zane is back, with a $100 bill begrudgingly tucked away in his tuxedo jacket to buy booze as last year's biggest loser. With all due respect, I hope you choke on it! May Marion the "Barbarian" carry me to a title......

Lucky Catch

If Vic was covering Tyree, the Pats would definitely have won.